


night lights

by friendlybomber



Series: Ethelan Mahariel Sabrae [3]
Category: Dragon Age (Video Games), Dragon Age: Origins
Genre: Ethelan Mahariel Sabrae, F/M, Fluff, Pre-Relationship, Stargazing
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-04-20
Updated: 2017-04-20
Packaged: 2018-10-21 11:42:19
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,484
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10684587
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/friendlybomber/pseuds/friendlybomber
Summary: Alistair and Mahariel go stargazing.





	night lights

**Author's Note:**

> I'm trying to get around to posting a lot of the 40+ fics I've written about Ethelan Mahariel Sabrae, so I might as well start at the very beginning.
> 
> this is the first Origins fanfiction I ever wrote. It is very important to me.

Camp was not so far away, yet to them it may as well have been another world. They were laying in the wet grass beneath the sky, watching the twinkling stars sprinkling across its surface. Ethelan lay in the crook of Alistair’s arm, one hand folded across her stomach, the other buried in the grass. Crickets sang around them, and the gentle roar of the fire still crackled from the camp.

“We’ve got to talk privately,” Ethelan had explained to Sten as the two had begun to sneak away. “About, um, what to do next.”

“Yes, very official Grey Warden business,” Alistair had agreed. “All very boring. You probably wouldn’t want to hear it.”

Sten probably hadn’t bought it, but it was his job to watch for trouble, not to keep two traumatized kids out of it.

“That one there looks like a sun,” Ethelan said.

“What, that star? Don’t they all sort of look like suns? Tiny, tiny suns… I wonder if you could go blind from staring at them for too long?”

“Probably. I meant that one group of stars there.”

“Where, there?” Alistair pointed a finger out toward the vast sky.

“No,” Ethelan said, wrapping her hand around his and redirecting it. “There.”

“Ohh yeeeah, I guess it does,” Alistair said. “Don’t know how you spotted that.”

“I’ve spent my whole life looking at the stars,” she said. “Me and Tamlen used to give names to them, when we were younger.” The pain of Tamlen’s death flooded back into Ethelan’s chest, toxic and sticky like the tainted blood that sundered her from him forever. She let her hand drop from around Alistair’s.

“This… Tamlen. Is he a friend? From your clan?”

“He… was,” she said. Her voiced sounded distant to her own ears.

“And he… stepped on your foot one day so you never forgave him?” Alistair prodded.

“No. He died. From the taint. Or so we think. We… never found his body.”

“Oh. Maker. I… I see.” Alistair gripped her hand in his tightly. “I’m sorry, Ethelan. I don’t know what to say. It’s… awful, losing someone you love.”

 _Duncan_ , she heard him think. _We’re not so different, you and I._

“Thank you.” She laughed bitterly, quickly. “We were always getting into trouble. No surprise it got us both killed. He was so stubborn, too. He never would have thought he was… making a bad choice. He never did.” She looked away. “I’m sorry.”

“What? No, you’ve nothing to be sorry about. I should be sorry. I shouldn’t have pried. Here you are talking about your lost friend and all I can offer you is a sympathetic pat on the back. ‘Yes, yes, the Blight is awful, isn’t it horrible how it consumes everything?’ Ah, Maker, hey now, don’t cry.”

Ethelan blinked away the wetness in her eyes. “A pat on the back is awfully impersonal. I’d prefer a kiss.”

Alistair pulled his arm out from under her so fast her head bumped against the ground. He chuckled nervously. “Ah ha, that’s, ha, that was a joke, right? You don’t actually want me to…”

Ethelan giggled. Wet, distracted, but still better than pain. “It might be a little insensitive to Tamlen’s memory.”

An unreadable look passed over Alistair’s face. “Oh, I see. So you two were… right.”

“Not really,” Ethelan said quickly. “I mean, we experimented when we were younger, you know, figuring things out, and I… I really, _really_ liked him, and he liked me, but… No. We were friends when he… died. I loved him, but maybe that wasn’t the end. It led me here, in a weird, twisted way, didn’t it?”

“Very weird, and very twisted, but yes, I suppose it did.” He paused for a moment. “But hold on, when you say you’ve ‘experimented’, so you mean…?” He made a juvenile gesture with his hands, which sent Ethelan into a laughing fit.

“Of course. I was fifteen, and I had eyes and desires just like everyone else. Same for Tamlen, I guess. It was all very healthy, almost platonic, really. Just testing the waters, so to speak.” She suddenly felt as if she was saying too much. “I know you’ve never… done anything, and that’s fine, by the way.”

“Fifteen? You were fifteen when you- when you-”

“Had sex?”

“…yes. So, that constellation! It looks like a sun! Isn’t that interesting?”

Ethelan laughed and turned on her side so that she faced Alistair. His ears and cheeks were burning pink in the moonlight. She wrapped an arm around his chest, and he let his hand rest stiffly on her back.

“Is this okay?” she asked.

“It’s… yes,” he sighed. “It’s wonderful.”

“The sun is the symbol of Elgar’nan, the god of Vengeance. I bear his vallaslin on my face.”

“Oh, is that what that is? I did wonder. I knew a little about the Dalish, but… I suppose meeting you has made me realize how little that actually was. Your tattoos, your… ‘vallaslin’? What do they mean?”

“We earn them when we come of age,” Ethelan explained. “We meditate on our ways, and on the Creators, and then our Keeper places them on our face to mark our journey into adulthood. It’s an old tradition, a way to honor the Creators. I chose the symbol of Elgar’nan about a year ago.”

“Why Elgar’nan?”

“Well… Elgar’nan is the god of vengeance, as well as the sun and light. I kept that in mind as I was meditating on how I wanted to honor the Creators. But the thing is, I never _really_ believed in them. I know that makes me a bad Dalish, but our culture never had enough… substance for me, you know? So I thought, maybe, if I appealed to Elgar’nan, he would bring me the light of our culture.”

“And you could avoid his godly vengeance,” Alistair finished.

“Pretty much.” She smiled. “Maybe I was stupid. I think I only chose Elgar’nan because the woman who raised me did too.”

Alistair looked at her. “The woman who raised you?”

“Ashalle,” Ethelan smiled. “My parents died when I was very young. I don’t know how, no one ever told me. Ashalle took me in. She wasn’t much of a mother. The whole clan raised me, really. It takes a village to raise a child, and all that.”

“I didn’t know,” Alistair murmured. “I’m sorry about your parents.”

“Oh, it’s fine, yeah?” Ethelan assured him. “I never had parents, so I don’t know what I’m missing. I just sort of adopted family as they appeared around me. I like it that way.”

“I suppose it works for you,” Alistair said. His face suddenly lit up with excitement. He leaned upwards to the sky in wonder. “Oh! Did you see that? A shooting star!”

“I was looking at you! I didn’t see it!” she mourned.

He grinned. “What should I wish for? Let me see… Oh! I know.” He bit his lip, and seemed to be silently speaking his wish to the sky.

When he did not elaborate, she patted his chest. “What? What did you wish for?”

“I can’t tell you,” Alistair said. “Then it won’t come true.”

“Oh, come on! I promise I won’t tell anyone,” she goaded. “Tell me what you wished for.”

He rolled his tongue in his cheek, considering this. Finally, he gave in. “Oh, all right. But you can’t tell anyone. Else it’s not a secret, and it won’t come true. Do you promise?”

“I promise.”

He opened his mouth to tell her, but then thought twice about it and stopped himself. “Wait, how do I know you aren’t lying?”

“Alistair!”

“You need to swear you won’t tell,” he decided. “Swear on… hmm, let’s see… Swear on Andraste’s mabari.”

“Andraste didn’t have a mabari,” Ethelan argued.

“Yes she did! Look, there he is in the sky, right next to the sun constellation.” He pointed up at the stars. Ethelan followed his gaze, skeptical.

“Where, there?” Ethelan asked.

“No,” Alistair said, correcting her hand. “There.”

She giggled. “Oh, right. Of course. How could I miss him.” She shook her head, laughing. “Then I swear on Andraste’s mabari that I won’t tell anyone about your wish.”

“Good,” he said. “Now I know I can trust you.” He turned his head towards hers. Their noses nearly brushed. Both their cheeks were soft pink. She felt his breath on her face. “I wished that this night would never end.”

“Now, why’d you go and tell me?” she breathed. “Now it won’t come true.”

He smiled in that way he did, where his eyes squinted and his cheeks rose to swallow them. The grass was cold, but she felt so warm next to him. He grasped her hand in his own. She felt a starlit grin stretch across her face.

Their little world was not so far away from camp, but to them, it was enough.


End file.
